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doubt about it, World War Two is the
No doubt about it, World War Two is the longest-running movie ever..
THE COLLINS COLUMN, July 13, 2001
A JOG AROUND ABSURDISTAN
by Doug Collins
IS our New World funny or is it foolish? It is both. Consider, for instance, that the grinning former prime minister [of Canada] Joe Clark headed a gay pride march in Calgary to the cheers of the media multitudes; and that in Saskatchewan a newspaper could be fined by our demoniac human rights system for quoting the Bible. Where is God when we need him? Consider, too, that Time magazine named Albert Einstein The Man of The Century when, obviously, it should have been Adolf Hitler.
Has that got your interest? I thought so. But there is method in my madness. Albert made the news far less than Adolf, and Adolf is still making it. There is such a media fascination with him that one might think he was still alive, just like Elvis Presley.
It was an advertisement in The Sunday Telegram titled The Third Reich in Colour that started me on these musings.
Some of it read like a boost for the Nuremberg Rallies. There was a nice picture of the Führer, and readers were told that for a modest sum (£19.99) they could get over three hours of "unique colour footage, much of it never seen before, including private film taken by Hitler's own pilot, plus home movies shot be Hitler's mistress, Eva Braun, the Goebbels family, and combat film hidden for almost sixty years". Gosh!
Not to mention Gripping sequences of the Luftwaffe and German Navy in action and chilling film evidence (naturally) of the persecution of the Jews by the Nazis.
In the same issue there was half a page headed, "German police took part in war crimes, historians claim," while in another there was a long review of yet another Auschwitz memoir: "Love and loss out of Auschwitz."
No doubt about it, World War Two is the longest-running movie ever.
I used to call our local Jewish newspaper The Holocaust and War News Times. But now the all the media are into the act. It's what Norman Mailer called the feeding of the goat.
Not to be omitted from this album of the absurd is that people (if men are still people) can be fined and jailed for alleged sex offences that took place thirty and even forty years ago, and that a minister in the government of British Columbia -- Robin Blencoe -- could face financial ruin and expulsion from the League of the Respectable for kissing girls in in the office. The Puritans are in power, the Cavaliers having all been sent to the plantations.
It gets better. I read in The Report magazine that a 14-year-old boy in Alberta was suspended and ordered to undergo a mental health assessment and investigation by the RCMP. His offence? He had written down the names of twelve teachers and students who were upsetting him. In Nova Scotia another kid aged eight was suspended for a day for having pointed a chicken strip at a classmate and saying "Bang!"
You have to get 'em young if political correctness is to succeed. And boys are now out of fashion unless they show signs of being strange.
Meanwhile, back at the Ottawa ranch, terrorists are welcome if they face punishment for having been or still being terrorists. So are common or garden murderers. But a Blencoe kissing a girl in the office against her professed will is a more serious matter. Logically, the more kissers we can kiss off the better. Provided they are girl-kissers, that is. Men who kiss men are needed for gay pride days.
Not that these wonders of the New Age are confined to Canada. In the Disunited Kingdom, Bomber Blair has let dozens of IRA killers out of jail -- including those who killed Lord Mountbatten (left) - in return for terrorist promises to hand in their guns.
Every bit as funny is that Slobodan Milosevic has been handed over to the war crimes court in The Hague. In return for a fee, of course. For doing so, the new Serb government will receive $1.9 billion to repair the damage done by Bomber Blair's and Billy Clinton's air forces during Balkan dustup. Oh well, one good turn deserves another, and nobody's perfect. Just ask The Sunday Telegraph.
Also in the U.K, a greengrocer has been prosecuted for selling a pound of bananas, when he should have called it .453 of a kilo. As the judge in the case stated, Britain surrendered to the primacy of European law when it joined the European Union in 1972.
Which prompts me to ask: why did Nelson, Wellington, Montgomery, and others fight against taking orders from France and Germany? Especially when Adolf and his works are now so popular.